Piece Of Heaven

    On our way back to Orem, Utah we made a stop in SunValley, also a stop in black foot to visit my grandma. Sun Valley is one of my favorite places in the world!
    I really didn't want to think about how bad I botched my meal plan while being away. I wanted to escape to dream land and that's what I got.
    SunValley is close to my heart for one of two reasons. This is where we spent all of our family vacations with my grandparents who have both passed and two I have so many fond memories of my family before sister in laws and before nieces and nephews.When it was just us and the boys, who actually adored me before the age of three, haha. It was and is my favorite place in the world.
     It's nice to come up here to relax. Go on bike rides, hang out at the pool, go on hikes. Very out doors place. We didn't do much but girls time at the pool and bike rides to all of the million dollar homes haha..
    I have no sisters. So my mom has been my only constant in my life that has been more than a mother in my eyes. She has played three rolls of being my best friend a sister and a mother.
    I'm sharing this in my post because it's not that I went ham on working out or a good diet. I just needed to breath. To know that I can't out exercise a good diet to really know the basics of getting a healthy, strong body.
      I also made a video for Sunvalley that I am incredibly excited to share. I hope everyone enjoys. Thank you for reading these posts and I am happy to share my journey a long wth you guys. I love you all.
     Happy Summer <3

Two Truce & One Lie

"Fitness Isn't Being About Better Than Someone Else, Its About Being Better Than You Used To Be"    

 Okay most of you know I have been on vacation for the past 2 weeks in Seattle. We are going to play a little game called two truce and One lie. Figure out which one the lie is!

1. I have been perfect with my health journey while being on Vacation
2. My temperature reached to 104 degrees and I had to rush to the emergency room
3. Ive been staying with in my calories

     Well if you guessed number 1 You are right, that is a lie! I have not been completely perfect in my routine of eating/meal plan. Which has made me sad while being here because I expected myself to be on point with my blogging and to be on point with my nutrition. That wasn't the case. What I have been doing is eating meals consistently, splurging a little here and there but staying with in my calorie reach.

     Mostly the first week I was so dehydrated. My ears were oozing out puss and I had a migraine the size of Mount Everest that I could not get rid of plus I had a strep throat. I had tylenol, Advil, basically every drug to make the fever go away and everything else I had. It got me completely off course of what I truly wanted to accomplish while being here and overcoming temptation.

     When things go unexpected like getting sick, I feel that was a time for me to reflect what I truly wanted.  I got lost a little bit the week before thinking is this worth it. Going back to the gym after being sick, and not posting for a little while made me feel a little helpless and lost. I got really angry with myself, then I started to cry because of all the hard work I put in watch go to waste. When in actuality its a little set back that will become a greater come back.

     Here is the thing. When ever I seem to make plans, I feel like God laughs in my face and changes everything up. I am not blaming God. I am more than grateful he changed those plans. Because now I am ready to just murder everything I am wanting to go after. Reaching for the stars like a mad women.

     I have goals in my mind and habits I want to get back. Its not ever easy getting off the path I so desperately wanted to be on. When vacations come up, don't expect yourself to be so strict, that you will do everything right. I feel you are only hurting yourself. I also feel that we need to make ourselves sane every once in a while.

     Some of you would say this is an excuse. In my book I am on my fitness journey. I will rise above this and become even stronger. I am always going to grind towards the dream. To hustle and make it happen for myself. Because this is not for anyone but myself. I want this, I am chasing after it!

Pushing Snooze

 "I Regret That Work Out - Said No One Ever" 

   Throw my hair up and call me pineapple head because I did not want to get out of bed or even move this week.. Most people think that body builders are motivated all the time. I hate to burst your bubble but that is one big fat lie! If a body build lacks motivation they do not cave in and go hard on a cheat meal making it a cheat day losing all progress. They suck it up and get through the day.
    In the midst of losing weight I am allowing cheat meals. It makes this sane. Once I get 12 weeks out we will see what my plan is.  Does this make progress slower? Yes, It does make progress slower. Its not just about having a good physique or being summer ready. I am trying to find balance in life. I refuse to go ham then gain all my weight back because of restriction. Once one finishes a diet, then one will gain all the weight back. You can't just follow a strict diet for 30 days then expect to keep it off by going back to the same bad habits. It doesn't work like that. 

     I am pretty sure food is on my mind about every second of the day. Before bed I will tell myself, I can't wait for breakfast in the morning close my eyes then go to bed. Then right after breakfast, mmmm lunch sounds good right now. Then after lunch, snack, ahh, thats what I'll have for a snack. Even when I go to Costco and pass by my favorite pizza, it is one of the saddest moments of my life. Pathetic I know, I cry over pizza. But even though I cry about it I I know it is worth it in the end to say No. 

     Balance is important to grasp. Kade loves to eat clean and so do I. We love our cheat meals, and we love a little dessert here and there. We don't like to eat whatever we want all the time because how we perceive ourselves and how we look is important to us. We are not going to flush it down the toilet and let our health spiral out of control. 

    One thing that helps me is I try to treat every day like its the first. Some days I try to think, am I in control or is my stomach in control when I am eating clean.  Then I write in my fitness journal how I am feeling if I am wanting to give up, or give in to anything really. I always have to remind myself that my cheat meal will come, be patient its okay if I skip out. Then during my cheat meal, I love to just sit, indulge and eat. Not be an animal and eat huge portions but eating reasonable portions being appreciative for the good food that I am eating. 

     Dieting is never a good idea. I hate when people say I want to be "Bikini Ready" Well thats a great goal, its just not feasible to keep it up  and to stay motivated. Especially during the winter season. With all them holiday treats and goodies. When I think of my body I think I want to be fit because I want to keep and live as long as I can. 

    This week I did not want to go work out. Overtime when I have these days  I really don't want to work out, I think of all the reasons why I started in the first place. Why I hate being in the position that I am in with my body. Thinking of all the reasons really gets me going. It really is not an option weather or not I want to. Somedays it reminds me of my dad. He is an Oral Surgeon and loves his job! He has his days where he doesn't want to work. He would always tell me that its not always if we feel like it or not, it is I have to because my life depends on it!  I have to do this for myself. To make myself stronger, mentally and physically. We put in the work we see results and we get what we want out of life. No one gets anywhere by being lazy in life. 

    Becoming healthier having an image of what fit looks like in my head always reminds me of why I want to eat clean. It doesn't happen over night, and it doesn't happen in a month. It takes will power and endurance to keep going to keep fighting against the grain (in my case Pizza) to really strive to be the best version of myself that I can be everyday. I am constantly in a competition with my self. 

      

     

Behind Closed Doors

                      "I Have Not Failed, I Have Found 10,000 Ways That Won't Work"

  Do you want to know the absolute solution to complete happiness ? Don't compare because the grass is really not greener on the other side. Let me tell you all the reasons why I ended up more depressed than I was because of letting comparisons dictate my life.
  First, let me tell you the stupidity of my thought process in every day life. Here are some examples of what I would compare myself too.
-Her metabolism is so much better than mine
-She is a better mother than me and I just suck at being a mom
-She is way prettier
-Why can't we travel like most couples
-This is stupid I should have her body, I deserve it
abcdefg good bye!
  Actually, Kade and my father was so sick of hearing me compare they knew it was ruining me. They knew I was letting it ruin me. It is so incredibly hard not compare in this day and age with social media and new trends. It seriously sucks sometimes. But guess what at some point we all have to put our big girl pants on and deal with it. It is part of our health to love ourselves and love what we have become with what ever the situation is.
  If I constantly compare to others and be a victim of my own fate, nothing will ever happen in my life. It will be complete misery and chaos everyday. One day, I just decided enough was enough. When I no longer compared my fitness journey to others fitness journeys is when I saw a serious change in myself. Plus with how I act towards others. It may be surprising, yes. But in actuality, when I stopped comparing and stopped trying to be everyone else in this world, I actually started liking myself a little bit more.
  I can not fathom enough how important it is to deal with conflict, tribulation and trials head on. Do not brush it under the rug. It will just get worse and worse like a vicious cycle. It will be the death of you in the end.  Yes, I have had experience.
  Why am I writing this blog post? What does it have to do with health & fitness? That answer is simple! When you love yourself and you want the absolute best for yourself! You tend to set boundaries, you learn to love the moment weather it be awful, or wonderful. You learn to deal with problems in ways you thought you never could, and you learn the mistakes you make are the past that needs to stay in the past.. Which leads into forgiving yourself and moving on from harsh times. No matter how bad it is do not let it hinder you. Be happy with YOU and believe in YOU.
   I love this blog and I love fitness, I also love what I am learning to being a better person everyday, to wanting to live happier and to having integrity with in my fitness goals.
   Last week I was asked to become a Brand Ambassador for DAS LABS. I couldn't of ever dreamed for an opportunity as incredible as this. They offer the best pre work out on the planet. Supplements that actually work and  I am not saying that because I am a brand ambassador, I am saying that because it is the truth. If you are interested in there amazing products head on over to http://buckedup.com and you can use my code: Hadley20 for 20% Off!
  When I was building my fitness profile and compared myself to how many followers I had in the starting and gave up because of the time it took to build my fitness social media of not so many followers, I honestly don't think this opportunity would of happened. In all scheme of things you are the only one who can change yourself. You decide to be happy, and you put all excuses aside tell yourself in the mirror, enough is enough and work hard for what you truly want that your heart will explode of happiness.
   Dont get me wrong because sometimes I do struggle with what I truly want between stuffing pizza down my throat. Of course there will always be struggle and temptation. The more we prove we are worthy the more we understand ourselves and our heart.
    If I  would of given up because the scale didn't say I lost weight, I would probably be crying in ice-cream and starting all over again. Never give up because of someone else body type, or because you think you have failed or even a number on the scale.. Failing is what makes us human, its what makes us genuine, it makes us become more humble and it what makes us full of phenomenal ideas that are bursting inside of us hoping to change ourselves for a better purpose in life for a meaningful life full of happiness.

 

Not One Pound

"Don't Wish For a Good Body, Work For It!"- Unknown

You may read this blog title and think why would anyone in the world do the whole30 then not lose one stinking pound?! It is so much more than weight loss when it come to living a healthy lifestyle. There is always a goal to set and for that goal to be accomplished. I can not believe how much I kept telling myself that I would be 125 by the end of my whole30 adventure, HA. This was completely the wrong motive. Crazy right? Every other women in this world's main goal is to lose at least a pound or two. There is so much more to a healthy life. 

By the end of the whole30 I had so much confidence. I loved eating completely clean and healthy. The motive behind all of this was to live and learn to live a healthier life style and incorporate it into everyday life. Change everything about the way I eat to be mentally prepared for  Competition in the Fall. 

I have already started comp prep! I have a lot of plans of how to become successful when stepping on stage. This is something I have been wanting for who knows how long. After the whole30 I did need a cheat, and a cheat I got. I figured out that I really don't like yogurt, and I would rather have a lettuce wrap burger than a burger with the bun. Crazy, Right?! I definitely missed the yummy salad dressing, but now I only drizzle a little. Dressing can make something completely healthy into unhealthy. 

I do look leaner, and feel leaner. I know I replaced fat with muscle because I believe I started at 28% body fat, now I am at 26% body fat. 

Going to prep for comp will be so interesting. I need to have my meals ready. Getting over the whole30 has been hard but doable. Ive been slowly getting normal foods back in my body. But I am making sure that I work out consistently as well as eating at the same time everyday. Now it is about getting the diet right, doing a show for myself because it has always been something I've been admiring for who knows how long!

As for those who are struggling with weight loss, do not give up on yourself. It takes time to adjust and it takes time to know what you truly want. 

Here is some advice, take it or leave it. Self love is the most important thing we can give to ourselves. Not overly confident still staying humble but not being so hard on ourself. It is important to notice transformations, or changes even if they are small. All the small small things will turn into big things. All you have to do is be willing to put in time and do the work then the rewards will come. 

Food Happy

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist." - Oscar Wilde.

It is the freaking weekend. Not that I don't love Mondays, because I do. I just love date night more. 

We are making a whole30 meal together for date night and I couldn't be more happier. We were supposed to go on a hike, Kade decided its pretty bad weather and not the greatest idea. Then he suggested the date night of making a meal together. 

I am getting more and more excited that I have five more days left of whole30 goodness. I love the whole30. People will tell me that I am crazy for doing the cleanse. But I just can't hep but feel a little happiness in my soul. Knowing I am doing something hard, actually sticking to it, following my word makes it all the worth while.

I want to learn as much about health as I possibly can. Knowledge is power and I seriously want to know everything about fitness, health, nutrition, everything I possibly can learn I want to know. Its an addiction to know whats healthy and what is not. Let me remind you, cleansing my body of all the junk and getting you body back on track was important for me, that was the whole reason for participating in the cleanse. Then when I finished stuff my face with donuts and call it good. 

Living a fit lifestyle is a consistent journey. It never ends. If you want it bad enough and it is that important to you, then you will do it. You wills say no to the cookies, to the donuts, to the chips. The power of saying no has become a very valuable lesson and so rewarding. 

I am not saying that the whole30 is the only way to lose weight because it isn't and this was not the reason for attempting the cleanse. Being a binge eater, overweight, not happy, I couldn't live it any longer. I really needed to cut everything cold turkey. Straight from the get go! 

Even after this, Kade is taking me to the Cheese Cake Factory. I am excited to go, I am making a conscious choice of what to order before I go, being responsible staying on track. 

This is my lesson in my healthy life style of being clean and not getting in the habit of binge eating to fully embrace a healthy life. Its a consistent effort to be healthy, to be clean, to desire that life. It isn't feasible to just want a good body and let that be your motivation. There has to be a deeper WHY to the brain to physically keep going. Even when it gets so tiring, you want to give up and just can't go on. The deeper your WHY is the longer you will resist and endure till the end. 

Trust me when I say I have failed multiple of times because of wanting to be "skinny". Happy foods equals happy life. Becoming obsessed with the scale, not noticing calorie intake, complete binge eating,  or whatever your scenario is will just leave you to the gimmicks you keep telling yourself.  

I honestly really had to train my mind. Mentally prepare myself that this was bigger than myself. I have so much potential, I needed to make this happen more than stuffing my face with pizza everyday leaving me with seconds of happiness then afterwards it went away still depressed. 

I am finding happiness in everyday life. Staying true to my heart and following my dreams has been a huge blessing for me. I am scorching with confidence because of the decision to simply listen to myself and to be grateful with a happy heart.  

More Than Half Way

"Habit Is What Makes You Keep Going"    

   Uh can you believe it has been more than fifteen days since I even started the Whole30 ? Yeah, me neither. I can't even explain the excitement that runs through my body as I committed whole heartedly to the Whole30.

Today I am on day nineteen. Which means tomorrow on Monday I will be on day twenty. Then that leaves ten more days. Just a couple weeks ago, I was wishing I would be at least on day eleven. It really is crazy the time & effort you put in making a conscious decision to eat healthy and stay on track.

   As one of the rules for the whole30, you can not weigh yourself. So, I will share some non scale victories with you. I used to be obsessed with the scale and weigh myself every morning. Since not weighing myself, I have been more than happy to head to the gym and to just focus on weights. I have been more than happy to wear my jeans instead of throw on a pair of leggings and call it good. I have been more than happy to say that I am surviving this cleanse. Is it still hard? No, it has been getting easier as the choices I make become a habit to my daily decisions about what kind of food I need to put in my body. Do I see a change in my body? Yes, I do see the weight shedding off. Its been really happy to know that if I can do something this hard, I can do anything, I mean literally Anything. I can't believe next Sunday I will only have a couple more days left.

   I started to take a supplement this week from Surge Supplements which is a Fat Burner. I love it! It gives me so much energy and I swear I am turning into a morning person.

   I am more eager to finish a goal or a skill. Too be blunt, I feel good about myself, and I just want to keep going and to never stop. Granted I do miss the occasional dessert with the cheat meal. I have learned the valuable principle it does matter what I say, and my actions need to portray my words.

   I can't put it into words, but the whole30 changed me, it motivated me to get out of bed, to have more energy, to take a look around and see the potential I have for a better future eating clean. I will be back on grains not this week, but towards the end of next week. I am having a hard time weather or not I want to continue and do a round two. We will see what will happen. I am definitely celebrating after this. Not too crazy though.

   The end of the tunnel is almost near. I see the light. I am happy, that is all I can say. I just feel happy with positive energy.